I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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