Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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