I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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