i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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