So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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