He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
