I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
