How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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