I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
