trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
