i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
