I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
