Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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