i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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