I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
