I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
try to milk me bitch
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
