Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
