Your dad touched me again.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
