I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
It's Friday. Sex?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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