I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize