i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
