his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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