LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
