Say something about gay babies.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
My vagina just clenched in fear
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize