We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
