yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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