You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
