My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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