you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Boobs speak an international language.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I think my moral compass just broke
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
