You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
