when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
