You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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