You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
