Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
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