i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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