I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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