Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
