In the future we'll all be gay
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
