she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
