My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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