I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
