connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I think your dad took our porno
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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