that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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