laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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