she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Can Purell be used as lube?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
