I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
She even gives head with a lisp.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
