Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
