yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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