i may or may not be watching the land before time
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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