Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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