brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
