i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
