I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
