How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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