Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
