Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
