i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
