I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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