Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
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