Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
