so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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