no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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