if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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