I cockslap morals
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
