Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
