nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
