Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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