I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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