Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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