I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
