I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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