I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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