First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
