Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Randomize
