Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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