I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
