The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
How does it feel to date your dad?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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