I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
