i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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