It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
