I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Randomize
