Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
