Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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