They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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